We’ve lost the true magic of the dinner table. It’s easy to forget its significance; we’re rushed, we’re tired, we’re stressed. Mealtimes, particularly dinner, were considered important for much of human history. The ritual of a meal with others was something special, something sacred.

Meals are Community

From the beginning, mealtimes were shared with large groups, generally family members. During the Renaissance period, meals were an opportunity for laborers to speak with the lord of the land; serfs and gentry would gather around a long, wooden board to dine and chat (this is where we get the term ‘board meeting’). But this speaks to the importance of mealtimes: the very human drive to eat together transcended class status.

The making of meals was a labor unto itself. For thousands of years, household members would spend the entire day preparing the night’s meal. From milking cows to grinding wheat to hauling water – it was a full time job. But this was the time when the grandmothers told stories to the kids. When the mothers taught them the skills they would need to both survive and thrive. When the trees and the breeze and the rivers imparted timeless secrets while the family was out gathering the harvest.

Your ancestors spoke many languages. They had routines and habits we wouldn’t recognize today. But they remember meals.

We don’t value meals like we used to. Most of us have very little relationship to where our food even comes from. Our world is designed differently, and this is just an unfortunate side effect of that. But we can still bring the ancient magic of meal sharing to our dinner table. And therein, we will bring our ancestors.

The Significance of Offering

The simple act of offering a plate of food to your spirits is a powerful message. It says, “I labored for this. I am sharing my prosperity with you. I made it with love for us to eat together.” This is something any of your ancestors could recognize and appreciate. Not just the labor of love, but the value of work. This is a huge love language to those past.

This small plate becomes a beacon to your spirits. They come from all places in time and memory to be at your table. To share in the wealth you earned that they worked to push you toward. To be with you in a moment and world they never could have imagined. To nourish themselves and be joyous that you, and perhaps your living loved ones too, are nourished.

But just as importantly, it creates a bridge between your past and present. The conscious act of offering, of choosing to give of your meal to those who won’t physically eat it, is a magical act. It is telling your spirits and yourself that this connection is worthwhile and valuable. They are valuable, they are part of you, and they have a presence in your life.

This is more than a belief. This will become manifest. This simple ritual will build pathways for your ancestors to be with you, to protect you, to guide you and teach you. Just as they would have if they were right there with you in the kitchen.

Let them whisper the old recipes to you. Let them criticize your choice to use dish soap on the cast iron skillet. Let them tell you about what it was like in their kitchen. Get lost in the cooking and remember things that aren’t yours, but that live in your blood. It’s a beautiful way to receive legacy.

Then, share this with them. Eat with them. Build upon the foundation they gave you. Grow together.

Preparing the Plate

Offering plates are generally small. The amount of food is less important than the quality of the food and what it means to you. An old practice is to make the offering plate first, and give them the best parts of the meal. Remember: small amounts.

In my house, we also give the first of the harvest to the spirits. So that first ripe lemon goes from the tree to the offering plate.

Giving them the first and best does two things. It ensures that you don’t forget – it happens, it’s okay. And also it reminds you of the act of love you’re doing. That perfectly browned corner of the steak I want? It’s going to the spirits. Because I want them to have the best. I love them. We are strong because of each other.

Give them a little bit of everything, if appropriate. Consider if they want hot sauce (my Texans love Tabasco). Include some veggies for your herbivorous spirits if you can, and if it feels right. You’re building a plate just as you would for living family.

If you live with others and you dine together, remember that their ancestors are also part of your table. Big gatherings are some of my favorite; I love feeling my friends’ spirits. And my ancestors love dining with their ancestors. It ends up being one big party.

If you cook, inviting the ancestors into your kitchen can be wonderful. Every year, my ancestral in-laws show up to help me make latkes (which is good, because I need all the help I can get). My corned beef recipe came from my Scottish ancestors – along with several snarky remarks about all my spices. The things I have learned from the spirits are invaluable, and I cherish every one of them.

And do understand: when I say that they ‘show up’, I mean as a function of my Sight. A change in temperature in my kitchen, the smell of cigar smoke, a feeling or thought pattern in me that I don’t necessarily recognize. Spirits have several ways of communicating. Allow it to happen. Don’t dismiss it as, ‘just something I’m imagining.’ It will become easier to tell what’s you and what’s them as you consciously do the work of bringing them into your life.

If you don’t cook, that’s okay too. You still worked to acquire the food. That is enough. Don’t get hung up on the quality – it’s the act of doing the ritual that matters. If you’re dining at someone’s house and didn’t work for the food, that’s also an incredible gift because it’s sharing community.

Once your plate is prepared, hold it and think of your spirits. This doesn’t have to be complicated, and you don’t need to know them by name. Or even by face, or know them at all. All you need to do is feel the love and gratitude that you are a creature of many spirits, that you come from a long line of humans that brought you here today.

Think of yourself as a candle flame. You burn calmly and brightly for those who would come to your table in virtue and love. Take whatever time you need to do this. And once you feel that unconditional love, blow onto the plate. Welcome them with your breath. Invite them to eat. Place the plate on the table where you, too, will eat.

You love yourself when you do this work. Whether you feel it or not, this is an act of love, reverence, and acceptance of your ancestors and therein yourself. You are one of the ancestors. You happen to be alive right now, and you are their gateway to this world. Not just to a good meal, but to the memory, the ritual, and the legacy of what it means to be human. 

The Following is Commentary from Griffin Ced, Witchfather of the Ced Tradition

Back in the old days, we didn’t have telly. We didn’t have the need to be entertained. We had long nights with no distractions, other than the arts and crafts we may have undertaken. But one thing we had in abundance was free time to contemplate our lives, and the passage of time, the Legacy of our Lives being passed from generation to generation.  

The sitting around the table was an opportunity to observe the living of life, the recanting and sharing of that life with each other. I think this act of sharing life as it moves on, opens the door to inspiration and other levels of awareness about our lives and the roles we play in it. It also is a moment where we share our vulnerabilities with each other, and find laughter and other ways to handle the insecurities of living. In all aspects the focus is Life and the sharing of the great mystery of living.

The very act of consuming food which itself was alive and now with its transition, now feeds, brings succour to our lives. It’s a Death and Rebirth Mystery, that in nature occurs with animals as a part of survival. With we who are self-aware, we understand that we live by feeding upon death. It is a Sacred Mystery, where the spirit of Life is transferred from one life to the next. This mystery, the communion of Life and Death, brings about a Sacred Space where the Communion of Life, Death and the Afterlife with the Gods opens as a bridge between realities. This Communion Bridge of Life feasting upon death thereby becomes a Sacrament Ritual of the larger Spirit of our Tribe, the Ancestors and the Gods, from the invisible world beyond death, to join with us in this world of Life.

So when we give food to our Dead, to our Gods, we are effectively sharing in our Life with them. And the Spirit of Life within the Food is the focus of what it is we give to them. So when you feel the food holds no life within, then they have feasted and the remains are cast into the trash.  

When a large group is assembled, you can also pass a plate, so each person can take a mouthful of their food and add it to the offering plate. In this way, each person can take a moment to include the greater spirits of the Tribe and offer them participation in their lives. 

Recognition of the spirits of the greater tribe is important. And offering them a place within the life cycle we are engaged in, strengthens the bond between us. Between this life of ours and the afterlife and that to be life that shall come after we too shall pass.