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Intuitive Interviews: Tarot Teasers #4

At The Green Man, our psychic readers are professionals.  They do readings A LOT.  But I was curious to see if one reading in each career so far has stood out as being the funniest, most right-on-the-money, most illuminating, etc.  Best reaction ever gotten?  Funniest reaction?  Let’s see what Shana, Heather, Kristin, Jill, Hovik, Ashley, and Vanina have to say.

Shana says:
I’ve had clients that laugh through the whole reading.  A lot of times they walk away with good catch phrases or funny not-so-nice nicknames for their exes. The one that stands out to me was: I gave the girl solid, mundane, real world advice on how to fix a sticky situation. She texted me later that week and said, “Oh my god it worked! I thought you were gonna be weird and tell me to run crystals on myself or something!”  Note: I did tell her to carry a lodestone and pyrite with her, and she still does to this day.

Heather says:

I’ve had a few but one I remember was when a woman came in and I laid the cards out and I was hesitant at first but just asked if she was pregnant and if it bothered a friend of hers that she got pregnant.  She said, “Yes I just took a pregnancy test before I came here and I brought my friend with me, and I wanted to confirm the pregnancy but I am afraid she’ll be upset because she has been trying for so long to get pregnant.  And now I have to tell her.”  That’s just one and there are many, but for some reason that always stands out for me and reassures me that my cards are magical.

Kristin says:
I just say what I see, hear, and feel without much prior context. One reading I remember as humorous was a man who was juggling two lovers, and the tarot cards clearly spelled it out. I did not hesitate and honestly told him what I saw, even though I knew he might be upset. He laughed and said “Wow, I was not expecting that. You are right. You are right.” Most people that are return clients have a reason to come back to me and it’s great to hear them tell me that my advice helped them. The best reactions are hugs. A heartfelt hug really is a reaction I treasure every time.
Jill says:
(Jill does short crystal readings, not Tarot, but we decided she could chime in.)  😉
The crystal showed me a toilet, like a throne, on a hill.  Kinda weird, but that’s what it was.  And I knew that what I was going to say was a bit harsh, but that’s what the crystal was telling me.  “Your goals are crap!”  Luckily, the customer took the reading without being offended.  A few years later she came in and told me that it all made sense: she had been chasing after a man who was no good for her, and once she stopped, she realized what the reading meant.
Hovik says:
Wow yes, we all do a lot of readings! I have several stories of amazing readings that I’ve done since I have started. The two most recent involve infidelity…
So the first story: I was hanging out downstairs in the store just people watching and waiting. A few regular customers came and we exchanged hellos while they explored. I happened to be drawn to a cluster of pyrite sitting in the case so I walked over to it and picked it up. This little guy was very chatty and sure had a few things to say.; one of which was that one of the girls who just came in was being cheated on by her boyfriend. I was taken aback and put the rock on the counter and walked away for a second. I sat and thought about what it said and wrestled with saying something like that. It’s not exactly a cute little psychic parlour game now was it? One of the girls walked over as I was thinking and grabbed the pyrite. When she did, I knew then and there I had to say something. The stone called to her and I needed to relay the message. So I walked over to the counter and whispered to them both, so which one of you has a boyfriend. The one who I felt the message was for answered back, “Why do you ask?” At that point, I figured may as well just spit it out so I did. I looked her in the eye and said, “Well, you see that pyrite you are holding?” “it told me that your boyfriend is cheating on you.” Immediately her shoulders slouched and she looked and me and said, “God damnit! I knew it.” I nervously laughed and said, “Well, I guess you gotta buy him now don’t you?”
The second story is very similar, but with more of a “stage magic” type of feel to it. A woman came in and she was purchasing some stuff. She started talking to me about her boyfriend and wanted to know what was going on with things. I pulled out my playing cards which I use for my readings on occasion and laid the cards out. Plain and clear the cards showed me he was cheating on her and the relationship would be over in three months. I felt rather strongly about it and as I was telling her, I felt the urge to jot down this event and mark it somewhere. So in true stage magician fashion I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote my prediction down and had two customers sign and witness. I taped it to the exact date I predicted and told her to come back and let me know what happened. The three months past and the day approached. I hadn’t seen her so I was getting curious as to what happened. She ended up coming in the first of the week and I remembered her so I walked over to the calendar hanging on the wall and grabbed my note. I walked back to her and said, “Well, was I right?” She looked at me red faced and said yes. At first she wasn’t sure if I actually got the date right, but after a few minutes she gasped and ran back to me and said, “Oh my god! You were exactly right!” She explained how the thought crossed her mind and we both laughed.

Ashley says (with names changed to protect the guilty):

One chart reading that was especially memorable for a literal translation of the message was for a client whom I told that her biggest rival is someone who has their moon in Capricorn – specifically in the Nakshatra of Uttara Ashadha, which is an asterism signified by a [insert unusual animal name here]. She was stunned – as she mentioned that her nickname for an ex was [the same unusual animal name], whom she had contact with for the first time in a long time, just prior to our reading. 

 Another example: I was doing a phone reading with a client I have never met in-person, therefore, I don’t know what she looks like. I did a 10-card spread with the near future being the strength card and the 6 of wands being the outcome for answering her relationship question. From the Strength and 6 of wands, I saw in the cards that she would be changing her hair, which would give her a lot more attention than she was used to getting. She was astonished by this message, and replied that she had just gotten half her head shaved in a radical new hair cut she had found the courage to try as an artistic expression of her femininity.

Another example of an uncanny relatable message was when I met a friend of a client for an impromptu reading in the lobby of a hotel. I was asked if her ex would come back and I was giving her all the information I was getting. For some reason, I heard the words, “baby king” in my mind and decided to go with it. When I uttered this phrase, she interrupted me and said, “omg! we call him the ‘little prince’!” Okay.. no cigar, but close enough. She said she was “weirded out” by it. Strange things have happened in this business….

Vanina says:

I remember one, when someone came to see me and she was trying to test me?? Hmm? Didn’t ask me questions, she just stared without agreeing or disagreeing, which was a bit uncomfortable, but oh well…I owned it and gave her all the information the cards had: the good, the bad & the ugly.  (Because sugar coating is not my style, or should I say homie don’t play that!) lolol. Kinda felt like I was talking to myself. When I was done, I just closed my eyes waiting for a _________👈 Insert here 👈response👈and she said : everything you just said was right on, you even answered the questions I had. How can you possibly know all the  details?  (Then the “I must be psychic jokes”started from both of us.) Now she’s my regular.

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